Clever Darling

Had my progress reviews. No problems but I somehow need to work harder if I want to get A's.


Finished college at 11:15 because of cancelled lessons. Went home, played on the Wii and did sod all. It was quite nice really. Then D came here in the evening and we went to the light switch on, which was a bit rubbish because they didn't manage to get anyone famous or anything. Then met my dad at the pub, grabbed some takeaway and came home.

Then had an argument with the parents about what we were going to do in London on Saturday, which resulted in no conclusion.

Then I stole D and used him to heat up my freezing cold bed before sending him away to sleep in another room. Mwahahh.


Got coach to London. Dad made us walk from Hyde park to Harrods and go around Harrods, which was painfully depressing because we have no money and there's all these lovely expensive things everywhere and designers and shiny things.

Then we got on a tube, which was more crowded than I've ever seen them before, to Leicester Square, and realised conclusively that there was absolutely no way that we could get tickets to a show that late. I spent four months looking forward to going to a show. I was not happy.

In the end went to see Christmas Carol in 3D because Dad wanted to. The 3D glasses just made my eyes hurt without making anything 3D and if I took them off my eyes hurt even more because the picture was all fuzzy.

Then we went to the Christmas Market in Hyde Park, which would have been good if it wasn't for the freezing rain, me not having a hat, and the lack of shelter. Still got a nice cookie with 'I love you' on it that D got me. Then got on the coach (which was late) and came home. Spent the whole way back freezing to death, as soon as I'd walked in the door I got into bed with three quilts and a hot water bottle and I was still cold.


Went Christmas a Tesco Superstore because Dad couldn't be bothered to drive further. Got dropped at D's on the way home. Somehow ended up on D's bed with candles lit...Played with puppies and D cooked salmon (that I bought, btw, you owe me money for the cream and chives that you didn't use...) for me, then I came home and realised that I'd done none of my homework over the weekend which means I'm going to have to do it all tonight which makes me sad.
Clever Darling
1. Whats your real name - Wulfric The Cleaver of Sunderland
2. Nicknames - Wully
3. Relationship Status - desperately in love
4. Zodiac sign - aquarius
5. Male or female - female
6. Primary School? - too many to list
7. Secondary School - several, thanks
8. Sixth Form - Hills Road - Where they suck out your soul
10. Hair color - Fading ginger back to dark blonde
11. Long or short - too long
15. Are you health freak - no
16. Height - people tell me I'm short. They lie
17. Do you have a crush on someone? - Does me count?
18: What do you like about yourself? - My left ankle
19. Piercings - two in each ear
20. Tattoos- no
21. Righty or lefty - righty

22. last beverage - mexican lime squash, which sounds much more impressive than it tastes
23. last phone call - D
. last text message - my mum
24. last song you listened to - Orff: Carmina Burana - Fortuna Imperatrix Mundi: O Fortuna. Yeah, stick that in your pipe and smoke it
25. last time you cried - the other night when I woke up from a nightmare already crying

26. First surgery - never
27. First piercing - ears
28. First best friend - a girl called lizzy from my playgroup
29. First sport you joined - track (i know, i dont believe it either, but its true)
30. First pet - black and white cat.
31. First vacation - florida
32. First concert - aaron carter
33. First crush - i think it was a guy called sam in my year 1 class lol
34. First love - me obviously.

35. dated someone twice - yes lol
36. cheated on someone? - ...only with girls?
37. kissed someone & regretted it? - i guess kissing girls, it seems to piss D off
38. lost someone special? - nobody comes to mind
39. been depressed? - yes
40. been drunk and threw up? not quite

41. Made a new friend - yes
42. Fallen in love - yes
43. Laughed until you cried - no. not much of a year for laughter to be honest, on balance
44. Met someone who changed you – yes
45. Found out who your true friends are - yes
46. Found out someone was talking about you - yes
47. Kissed anyone on your friend's list - yes

48. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life - all of them i think
49. How many kids do you want to have - ask D ;)
50. Do you have any pets - yes, thanks. one wants to eat me and the other one...wants to eat me.
51. Do you want to change your name - to what?
52. What did you do for your last birthday - my actual birthday i spent at my then boyfriend's house, after wading through the snow to get there, a few days after he'd announced that he was bisexual (ie gay). Glad you asked?
53. What time did you wake up today - 6:35
54. What were you doing at midnight last night - asleep
55. Name something you CANNOT wait for - Some time off college
56. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life - where my house is
57. What are you listening to right now - Razzle Dazzle - Chicago
58. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom - yes
59. What's getting on your nerves right now - D can't get his laptop working
60. Most visited webpage - facebook

61. Eating - nothing yet, awaiting dinner
62. Drinking - squash
63. I'm about to - read something i expect
64. Listening to - Famous Last Words - My chem
65. Waiting to - see D tomorrow :D

66. Want kids? - not hugely
67. Want to get married? - i think so
68. Career? - law/politics

69. Lips or eyes - eyes
70. Hugs or kisses - hugs, but only just
71. Shorter or taller - a little bit taller
72. Older or Younger - either
73. Nice stomach or nice arms - both, damnit
74. Sensitive or loud - what's in the middle?
75. Hook-up or relationship - relationship
76. Trouble maker or hesitant - again, find something in the middle you fool. find eudaimonia!

77. Kissed a stranger - only friends of friends etc
78. Drank hard liquor - yes
79. Lost glasses/contacts - no, because i dont wear them
80. Ran away from home - no
81. Broken someone's heart - ive upset some people pretty badly
82. Been arrested - no, i is a good girl
83. Turned someone down - yes
84. Cried when someone died - nobody's died

85. Yourself - less so than i used to
86. Miracles - not really.
87. Love at first sight - not really.
88. Heaven - no
89. Santa Claus - completely.
90. Kiss on the first date? - why not
91. Angels - no.

92. Is your favourite person? - D.
93. Is/are your best friend? - Excepting D, I guess Liz nowadays.
94. Do you wish you were? - someone richer, more influential than me
95. Do you wish was with you right now? - D

96. Is there one person you want to be with right now? D
97. Had more than one Girl/Boyfriend at one time? - that'd be fun, but so damn hard to manage
98. Do you believe in God? - no
99. Where do you work? - my house.
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Clever Darling
My day was going quite well yesterday for a while. I had a tolerable Classics lesson, reasonable Maths, a nice long free period three, then Philosophy, and because the teacher was doing reviews we just sat around and talked the whole time so that was quite cool. But then for Political concepts the teacher decided that we should do this proposal thing and do a vote and then try and get the issue into the paper or something. And at first he said it can be outrageous as you want, but when my friend and I started looking at David Icke (thinks the Queen mother was a satanic, blood drinking lizard alien in disguise, and that the human race was created by these creatures) he said that wasn't serious enough and that we had to do something else. I mean, it's an enrichment for god's sake, nobody gives a shit about producing work. And then I had to get the train home with H and K, both of whom annoy the shit out of me so I sat there staring at the ground with my ipod plugged in the whole way, which is really a bit boring. By the time I got into the station I just wanted to go home, and then D was late coming to get me. And then one of the puppies died. And then I spent about two hours editing my coursework, which I think is about as long as it took me to write it in the first place >:(

Today I have all my progress reviews, which sucks because even though college finishes at 12:40 I have to stay until my last appointment finishes at 2:30 and I find it hard to believe that anything any of my teachers say will be particularly constructive for me personally, rather than being constructive comments that can be generically applied to anyone in the class. I expected this college to be like a university, a proper, energetic and sincere place of learning. Instead it's a military encampment producing Oxbridge soldiers.

And the bad dreams won't stop again.
Clever Darling
24th November: Thing I hate today: people who don't see things in the normal or accepted way. I don't necessarily mean crazy Muslims that blow up tube stations, although that's pretty damn stupid too. I mean normal people in society that have totally out there ideas. I realise this could and probably will come across as hypocritical. But my strong views tend to be about things that are political or social, big concepts that cover lots of topics.

I have a friend at college called Zoe. She is short, has a round face, is fairly thin and wears glasses. She's isn't particularly attractive but she isn't ugly either. The other day a guy hugged her and she was over the moon about it for days. Because she's never had any affection at home, her dad in fact uses her as a role when he's cheating with women half his age, she interprets any affection as deep and she gets hurt. All the time. Repeatedly. She's up and down like a yo-yo on simple comments or smiles. That's maybe cute in some cases, but when she's constantly stuck in 'first love' kind of mode she just damages herself over and over again because she can't see that teenage guys are not in the mode for 'first love'. And it makes me sad.

25th November: I really need to stop having apocalyptic dreams. Last night I dreamt that it was raining acid rain, but instead of acid it was anti-matter. This crazy scientist from a tv show managed to neutralise it and he was my dad in the dream. But you had to have some of this alcohol from a magic self refilling bottle on you before you were safe. So I went over to this massive colonial house where D apparently lives and as per usual his mother refused to listen to me. So I left and went to a shopping mall and tried to ride something that started out as an elephant but became a llama/camel. But it went to sleep so I drove my sister's car down a hill and D got in the way of the steering wheel but I sorted it in the end but I'm not very good at parallel parking. Then there were loads of creature comforts type animals watching scooby doo at a drive in and running along the side of a river to get to this mad scientist guy to get the protection. Then there are all these people down outside the window and they're cheering him but he doesn't know what to say so I thank them for him but then he goes to get a sandwich. Oh, and Stephen Fry was in there at some point.

Conclusion: I need to stop taking LSD before I go to bed.
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Clever Darling
Well. I've had a cold again all this week. Isn't that fascinating? D keeps moaning that I'm not posting but I don't have anything to say. I get up, I go to college, I come home, I see D on good days, I don't on bad days. I do loads of homework and sleep as much as possible. My life.

In other news I finally got my new laptop and it's tiny and shiny and wonderful.

Erm...what dad got a tattoo because his tattoo artist friend is visiting from the states and...we're going to London next weekend for the Christmas fair and for a show :D Excitedness.
Clever Darling
I have decided that I will giggle all the way through my wedding.
It's quite logical you see, the urge to laugh will be there, and I see no reason whatsoever to deny myself the pleasure of laughter at my own wedding, hence the giggling. You could see my sister suppressing it all the way through hers, it was quite funny.

In other news, I have decided to purchase a huge water bottle to replace D on nights where I can't sleep on him. I just hope it doesn't burst when squeezed and is capable of translating strange squeaking (how I speak when sleepy) into English. It may just be easier to clone D than to teach a hot water bottle English AND squeakish, and D is much more protective feeling than a huge bottle of liquid, I expect.

What else...I have a sore throat again. My immune system is so fucked up this year and it's really starting to piss me off.
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Clever Darling
My pain in the arse boyfriend is forcing me to blog when I have nothing to say. So I shall dramatise and make life much more interesting.

Today I made a brief visit to the moon before breakfast (which was pickled ostrich knees), and picked up some cheese and scones from a picnic the silicon based little green moon men were having. Then I made my way to the studio, where I sat for many hours repeatedly saying 'weebles wobble but they don't fall down' on the radio in varying tones and accents. Having collected my paycheck for 67p I made my way to my psychologist's office, for my daily appointment. He told me, as he does every day, that I am morbidly over-sexed and that there is no hope for me whatsoever. I left feeling somewhat disheartened. Having returned home by riding a giant magenta butterfly, I made myself some dinner consisting of small taiwanese lady-boy roasted with garlic and settled down to read Mein Kampf in peace, and consider how easy Hitler had it, and how Nick Griffin is Christ risen again, the saviour of our nation.

Happy now? No? Well, screw you.
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Clever Darling
1. I had a ridiculously weird dream on Tuesday night that involved someone trying to take D away again, last time i had a dream similar to that was when we had that episode in September, whih is therefore very odd.

2. Last night I also had strange dreams about being in a sushi bar and campaigning to stop an old church being torn down. Again, really weird.

3. Yesterday was pretty boring really. College, free, maths homework, bit more college, sit and read the paper, go to Long with D so he could look around for next year, have subway (yum), get train homeward, go to pub quiz with parents, go home, sleep. Nothing extremely exciting.

4. My latest set of minions has entered the world. I am now in posession of 10 bassett hound puppies, I have not yet met them, touched them and claimed them, but I will. Mwahahahaha

That's about last lesson is cancelled today :D AND next week I have wednesday afternoon off and ALL OF THURSDAY. Yay for sleeping. And the week after that I have cancelled lessons in the afternoon for three days but I have reviews so I'm not sure how much time off that will actually amount to.
Clever Darling
When did I last post, er, right Sunday, yes. Yesterday...that was Monday...what happened...I went to college. Had a crap morning because the girl I sit next to in English was driving me fucking nuts, I don't like her in the first place because she has a painfully high pitched voice, dresses like a gypsy and never stops giggling nervously whilst she loudly states her opinions. Anyway, so I try to ignore her because she's just annoying. So there I was, happily ignoring her, when she decides to get out one of my pens, and doodle all over MY coursework questions. FFS, respect personal property??? Stupid anoying bitch...And then it just got shittier because this crazy non-lateral thinking anti-social girl stole my seat in philosophy for no reason, leaving me stuck on the end or the row, alone, with nobody to talk to, when usually I have this really cool guy next to me who's really fun to talk to. ANGER!!

But. Then I found Liz, who I don't know if I've mentioned on here before, but she's becoming a rather good friend. And that made me feel somewhat better, and then I found out I was going to see D last night, so that was very cheer-upping. And then I thought the maths test was quite easy, even better. And I had a muffin XD AND I wasn't flagged in Tutorial so I actually got to go on time, which is pretty damn amazing and I loves it muchly, because normally I have to go to my tutor's office, stand outside with Ben and wait to be interrogated about why I missed lesson x y z (I WAS SICK YOU STUPID BINT!).

AND I didn't do any homework last night and that made me happy and shiny person.

Of course, I have ARC today, which is likely to offset all joyousness, especially since I won't see D tonight either. Alas, not all in life can be well.
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Clever Darling
It's quite surprising how much of a bonding exercise Romania was for us. I think we were pretty close before, but now I don't know if we can get much closer. The sheer feeling of comfort in eachother's presence and the understanding of our feels pretty damn intense really, which makes me kind of nostalgic for way back when, like when I first met D, or when we first started going out.

For example, when I first met him he was a kind of grungy-didn't-care-about-anything type who just mucked around all the time and was likeable but not fanciable really. Wore massively gothy clothes, new rocks, AND dead clumsy and sort of stomped around.

When we started going out, less sullen, more relaxed, very flirty, very energetic. Still didn't really care about much, went with anything kind of thing.

And then the change that happened in September, being more grown up, trying to act in a responsible way, working hard for school. Making me feel proud, and hopeful that he would eventually realise his own worth instead of not believing me when I say he's amazing.

The love I feel now would amaze me from two and a half years ago. Every second of the day is worthwhile because he exists. Some moments, like just lying together in silence, or making stupid jokes, kissing, looking at eachother when there are other people around and making them disappear, they couldn't be any more spectacular. Every day we were in Romania one or two of the girls would tell me how much they could see he loves me. And I didn't have anything to say back to them, apart from 'I know.'

Next weekend we will have been together for six months. It feels like he's always been a part of me. And god forbid anybody try to change that because it just doesn't work. I learned that lesson a couple of months ago. It doesn't seem to matter how much we hurt eachother because we know that we don't really mean it, and that causing eachother even the tiniest amount of pain hurts us.

I don't really know why I'm typing all of this out. I don't imagine the people who read this really want to sit and peruse my obsession, maybe it's rude to brag about it? But it's important to me that there are records of things that are important to me that I can look back on. So I can remember clearly lying in the dark with you last night and feeling completely and utterly happy. And waking up in your arms this morning and knowing that everything was still exactly as it should be.

Then again, I don't think I'm likely to forget that I love you.
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Clever Darling
Are you ready for a blog post of epic proportions? You thought I’d forgotten you, didn’t you? Well I didn’t, I was just waiting, biding my time, until I had the opportune moment.

23rd Oct: England – Romania

Left England, flew to Bucharest, got connecting flight to Cluj Napoca, stayed in a hotel. The hotel had many many steps upwards to the rooms, with our suitcases, and we were very tired. Ended up sharing room with seemingly quiet bookwormy girl.

24th Oct: Cluj Napoca – Agnita via Sighisoara

The Romanian students brought us breakfast at the hotel, which was rather nice of them. It was ham and cheese sandwiches. Incidentally, that’s what I had for breakfast every single day we were there. Anyway, then we all got on a bus after some nice Romanian boys helped us get our suitcases down the stairs, and drove for several hours to Sighisoara. The Romanians love to sing on buses. That’s the town where Vlad Tepes, or Vlad the Impaler, who inspired ‘Dracula’ was born. To be honest it wasn’t that impressive. Lots of stone buildings, some nice views from the top of the tower. I felt really sick, so I guess that didn’t help, the whole left side of me went numb, horrible. Then, back on the bus, drive to Agnita, which is where we stayed. The entire town has one hotel. It’s an ex communist block. It’s one star. There are cockroaches in the bathrooms, flies in the rooms and the paint comes off of the walls like chalk. Oh, and the shower in our bathroom was so mould coated we refused to use it.

25th Oct: Orienteering

Sunday we just stayed in Agnita, and went up to the woods to do some orienteering. It was fun, the girl I was with spoke very little English and it’s impressive how far you can get with hand gestures and laughing. We won our section too :) The prizes were a t-shirt each and a wind up torch that the Romanian girl kept, and little certificates. Then we went to the other side of town and back down again on this treasure hunt thing where we had to find out what we could from the people around monuments in order to answer set questions. That was a bit meh, everyone was exhausted and just wanted to sleep. Let me take this opportunity to tell you more about Kay. Kay was my roommate. Kay is totally incapable of vocal inflection. She merely groans and moans the words out. She is also apparently allergic to gluten, even though she has never had any kind of allergic reaction ever, just a blood test that told her she was. So she spent every meal going: can I eat this? When the answer is quite clearly yes, since nothing bad will happen. And all she did the whole trip was sleep and read. It was ridiculous, we were supposed to be on a social exchange! I will say no more except nobody liked her.

26th Oct: College

Monday we spent in the school, looking at classrooms, learning about their system. They do a hell of a lot more work than us, in much more depth, for more subjects. Basically, the school system in a country that has no written law, isn’t in the EU and has brick and mud houses that are falling down all over the place, has a better school system than us. And they do it all in one less year. Come on.

27th Oct: Sibiu

Wandered around this city, looked at some buildings, then went to a really big mall. I bought a couple of books, as I do, this time on learning Romanian. D bought us a massive chocolate ice cream sundae that was rather nice, and also bought me a silver pendant on a chain that is pretty damn awesome if I do say so myself. It’s a snake that curves round and merges into a rose branch, and then there’s a single rose where it reaches the chain again. I know, it’s hard to visualise, but trust me, it’s awesome.

28rd Oct: Basically nothing.

We essentially spent this day sitting on computers doing sod all. We ‘sat in’ on some lessons, but since a woman was trying to teach us French, in Romanian, that wasn’t going to work, and then some other woman tried to teach us how to use PowerPoint, and I think somehow, that we can do that. Then we were supposed to do sport in the gym but I just watched because I took no trackies or anything. Lots of people just watched really, there wasn’t long enough for everyone to play.

29th Oct: Brasov

Drove to this tiny shitty little village to look at its fort, then drove some more to a big city called Brasov. We went to this massive church that was full of freemasonry symbols which I thought was quite amusing. Then we went to the first Romanian school, where the guy just tried to sell everything. When we got back to Agnita we had dinner with a Romanian family. Neither of my girl’s parents spoke any English and she was really shy so I spent most of the night talking to her cousin, who was about 20 and spoke very good English. They fed me sooo much, hehe, I had to take a tray of cakes back to the hotel.

30rd Oct: Folk Dancing

Watched traditional folk dancing performance, then had a Halloween party of sorts in the evening, D’s costume was particularly spectacular but I think he should tell you about that.

31st Oct: Sod all again

Sat around playing computer games, watched presentations, got certificates for participating in the trip. In the evening, went out to a club. Everyone was drinking and sort of got caught, but the teachers decided that it was ok to sit and smoke with 15 year olds so they couldn’t really punish anyone for drinking.

1st Nov: Agnita – Cluj Napoca

Drove back to Cluj Napoca, had McDonalds, went to an awesome shopping mall but had no time to look really, then dinner at a Hungarian restaurant. The meal was chicken and potato. Again. Chicken and potato is apparently a main dish there, and I’d like to never eat it again.

2nd Nov: Romania – England

Up at 3:30am, airport, plane, wait, another plane, England. Drive, home. Unpack, sleep at 5pm.

Other Notes: There were dogs, stray or otherwise, everywhere, in the streets, just everywhere. There were lots of half finished or crumbling buildings which made the place look really transitional, like industrial revolution Britain almost. D taught all the Romanians how to say ‘you’re my bitch’ and had very loud arguments with them about the size of his cock in Romanian.

There, now don’t you just feel like you were there?

As for this week, I took Tuesday off of college because I was really tired, I can’t shake off this hacking cough, ‘Leo’ is having a party tonight and…Oh, I’m fat from all the food in Romania. End :P
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