Clever Darling
Yes, it looks a little different.
This template was carefully selected from many hundreds for your viewing pleasure...and then I spent a bloody hour fixing all the glitches in it. Ah well, the things we do for love.
Clever Darling
Friggday.
Philosophy was a bit quiet because SOMEBODY decided to be sick :P But there was still much laughter and whatnot as there tends to be. Classics, well, it's never going to get better :P Epic free, well, there's a story. I had an appointment booked with my English Lit teacher, whom you may recall I am not fond of. But we have to go see them to talk over coursework, so fine. So I show up five minutes early, because I'm punctual. TEN MINUTES after the appointment was supposed to start, he's ready. Failure. Then, we take out my coursework. Which was graded As for every section. His comment? Yeah, this isn't a bad essay. *hiss* He then goes on to spend the next ten minutes saying I could include one more piece of context/criticism, because apparently five just isn't enough to get the marks when you only need one to tick the box. GRAWR!!!! Anyway, having escaped from him, I went downstairs, grabbed me a BLT and enjoyed my relentless. Unfortunately lunch and free periods end eventually, and I had English Lit with him fourth period. ARGH. So that was another waste of my life, and at the end of the lesson he once again fucking complained about the class talking too much, when in fact when we talk to eachother is the only time we ever get any fucking work done!!! Incompetent twat.

However, this was my last lesson, and alas, was followed by escape! I eagerly approached the train station, hopped on a vehicle, and after a brief interaction with Tilly regarding a rubix cube at the train station, I headed to Tesco's, where my mother was apparently in Costa waiting for me. Waiting really is a big word. Because I then had to wait for her and her american to drink their coffee. And then for the american to make her fifth or sixth food shopping trip of the week. And to find out how the hell I was going to get D to my house because of his shitty parentness. But eventually one managed to get home.

And eventually my dear father picked up my dear lover and my dear lover and I wandered to a friend's house for the evening and it was quite fun.

Saturday

Was going fine until my parents were late getting back from taking the american to the airport, we missed the only available train and had to get a lift to D's, then to Ely, both with my mother, who was not happy. The evening itself wasn't as bad as I had worried, I only got angry and snapped at someone once, and although I suppose it was rather unjustified, it could have been worse. Plus D got bored and we left early, which made life better for me.

Today

Yeah. Well, as you can tell I'm really busy. Doing a bit of revision for my maths mock tomorrow, and considering changing the blog layout/background.
Clever Darling
FINALLY When I wake up in the morning I feel energetic because it's not dark. Yes, there is a very definite correlation between my energy level and how light it is when I get out of bed. Bring on ze summer XD Viva le revolutition!

...don't know why, but we should all revolt! MWaaaHahAhhah!
Clever Darling
Tuesday very little of deep amusement happened. So we shall forget it ever happened! EXCEPT of course, the going to D's after college, and the candles, and the empty house...Ahem.

Wednesday was a fairly good day. I woke up, and it was like, light outside, at 6:30am! Not sunny light, but light enough!!!!! And then I got a train...classics, boring, maths, fairly boring, free period, SUBWAY FOR LUNCH NOMMAGE. Theeeeenn I managed to get all my homework done as well and then I had philosophy. Epicness. When our teacher came back from saying goodbye to the guest speaker who was in at lunch we were all lying on the floor. He merely goes: Oh, you're all dead. That'll cut down on the marking, crawls under his desk, and looks at us. EPIC. Then we did the lesson. The joyous highness was somewhat contrasted by Debating, where once again Darrel stopped the class, slowed us down, and made it boring just as we were getting going and starting to get somewhere. Hopeless. And then it was my mum's birthday so there was chocolate and chish and fips and D was over and it was actually quite nice.

Today was THURSDAY and Ceri just got paid so she rather nicely purchased moi an egg and bacon sub and we nommed together 1st period. Then maths, blegh, english was ok, nothing too exciting, discussed the crapness of synthesised music with a guy and now I have to take it back because I can't stop listening to Owl City because of D. I spent an hour this evening doing my nails lol, and I am very satisfied.

Tomorrow, I cannot go to the ball (lol,Cinderella), well, I could, but it's too much effort to get home, so I'm not going, waste of £20 overall but money's only money right? :P So I'm going out with D instead, which should be fun. Saturday looks less positive, out with the very females I most dislike. But I am determined to try, even if it is only once because I can't handle it. *sigh*. We'll see.
Clever Darling
I had a crazy dream last night where I was attacked on a bus by some crazy guy and I beat him off so then he stabbed the person in the room next to me in their sleep that night and stole my wallet so the next night I slept in the same room as some old man bodyguard type and he was all stabbed when I woke up. O.o

There was also some walking along the back of Cambridge colleges, my mum and nan playing frisbee, D buying chicken, a tow truck and costume shopping. Oh, and a band of giant rabbits.

I found out yesterday that the Ancient Greeks kept weasels as housepets instead of cats! Like, OMFG WIN!
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Clever Darling
There's quite a lot of stuff floating around in my head at the moment.

My usually good relationship with my mother tends to deteriorate whenever there are guests in the house because she's clinically incapable of concentrating on more than one person at once. So all her attention and affection goes to guest, and Dad and I sit around in corners until they leave. If the guest is someone I like, ie my sister, that's fine, I can put up with it. But when it's someone I rather hate like her friend who's here at the moment, who she's brought into what is MY HOME, even if I don't own it, and then I'm expected to interact with her politely AND my mother completely switches off whenever I talk because I'm not important enough, AND she can't even remember my fucking name, I get just a little pissy.

No, seriously, every time she's tried to say my name for the last few days, she's said my sister's. Admittedly, they are quite similar, but funnily enough, I do in fact exist, and it's just fucking insulting.

And then there's the stress starting to build up. I've got a load of tests next week, and then my progress reviews the week after. Those reviews will show whether or not I really am a B grade student as said in autumn or if that really was a result of being ill a lot. And then it's the real exams and I'm kinda worried about those in a general and non-specific way, particularly maths, because my brain seems to be a sieve in terms of that. And my form tutor is going to start bitching at me as soon as the reviews are over because we have to choose our year 13 options and she's going to want me to drop one subject and I refuse and she can't make me, but again the grades in the reviews will make a huge difference on how easy that one is.

And speaking of next year, D. I am desperate to have him there. I see all these couples everywhere all the time at college and I miss him so much every fucking day and to have him at a college down the road will just make it worse, you know, so close but so far away kind of thing. And if he ends up at Long instead it'll make everything harder anyway because the people at Long will be exactly the wrong kind of people with excessive drugs and alcohol and shit and he'll want to make friends with them and be cool and he'll end up growing further and further away from the person I love and we'll grow further and further apart and it'll just be epically shit. Whereas at Hills I know that he'll be able to learn really well and that'll help him to do whatever he wants in life, and for once he'll know he's worth something despite all his parents' efforts to create him otherwise and the people there, my friends and the kind of people in general will just accept him for who he is and he won't have to do all the running around in circles to impress people bullshit he does now because everyone will love him for the person he is like I do.

And just...ARGLEWARGLESTUFF
Clever Darling
Thursday I was sort of alive again, so of course my first act was to kidnap D :)

Friday...My mother's friend arrived from the states. Eugh. I bloody well hate her, alright. She's from the south, she's white trash, she's got three overweight kids, lives on credit, talks in a monotone, believes in God and the power of religion etc etc and she just fucking well pisses me off.
Ahem. I also did some school work.

Saturday my sister and brother in law came up, so we went to Cambridge shopping. I purchased three tubs of Whittards tea, well, two tea and one hot chocolate, because their tea is tasty and it's cheaper to buy three at once than three seperately. My sister bought me this red stripey dress type thing for Greece. I had a nose in the costume shop for the ball but still not totally sure althoughI have some ebay enquiries going now. Also went to a big antique and collectable book fair, some damn shiny things. Three hundred year old copy of Ovid's Metamorphases, bound in vellum, £650. First edition LOTR, all three books, £1000. Couldn't afford anything of course but still.

Saturday night I was desperate to escape the house and after much shouting ran away to D's to hang out with him and a girl he's friends with from school who's pretty awesome.

Woke up this morning, my sinuses are fucked again. WTF is the point?! Finished off my maths homework and even started some revision, and now I'm sitting here contemplating the universe. And which fruit tea to drink.

And I really would rather not go back to military school tomorrow. I think I'd rather sleep thanks.
Clever Darling
Yesterday was a good day. Both my parents were at work and D was here until the evening. The value of such days is in the ability to be totally relaxed and comfortable in eachother's presence. To be able to sit and watch movies and cuddle, and cook lunch and bake bread and shout jokes across the house and generally just be happy and self contained.

The downside is towards the end of the day I noticed I was feeling rather shit. And by the time I went to sleep last night (on the sofa in the lounge because I didn't have the strength to move out to my room) I was sort of hallucinating, and my throat is all swollen up and my head hurts like fuck. So basically, I fucking hate my immune system. Can I not go one week without getting ill? There's nothing wrong with me, no reason for me to be sick all the time, I take multivitamins, I have a fairly balanced diet although it is quite high in sugar, there's just no reason for it! Rawr. So I've been sitting here all day drifting in and out of consciousness, watching documentaries about whales and tasmanian devils and eating far more strepsils than the recommended dose.
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Clever Darling
Thursday was unexciting for the most part so we'll skip that one.

Friday...erm...D was over, I remember this. Oh yeah! Right, so it was the last day of the half term so there was cheerfulness and the entire basement singing Wonderwall because someone brought in an amp and electric guitar and it was quite loverly. That's pretty much it really...

Saturday I did most of my half term work, and then D came over, we got ready for Kym's and went to Kym's party. Kym's was way better than the party we went to last week, I actually knew people there this time so I could relax a lot more and it was generally quite fun. And there was no alcohol, and call me crazy, but that makes me relax a hell of a lot more. Oh, and there was kareoke but we won't discuss that aaaaannd then we went back to D's and there was sleeping.

Sunday was Valentine's Day. For the first time in my life I spent Valentines Day with someone who genuinely cares about me and for the most part it came out fairly well...I think lol. I was forced back to bed for an hour while D made breakfast, which was both sweet and oppressive hehe. Then we eventually grabbed a train to Cambridge, walked around the shops a bit and there was fudge, and a FOX FINGER PUPPET that brings me great joy. Then we went to this cafe that is like, our cafe, we always seem to end up there, and I was beaten at chess. Twice in the same game. Yeah, even when I cheat I fail. Then we were supposed to go see Avatar because D still hasn't seen it, but the newspaper misprinted the time so I got all angry and RAWR so we just came home. And then, totally out of character, I actually did something properly. I cooked us dinner (only carbonara, but it's bacon and pasta, and excessive amounts of garlic, who's complaining?) and did the candles and the coca cola in wine glasses and things and it was nice...I think.

And now I'm sitting here wondering what I shall do to amuse myself...
Clever Darling
Dear Mr Vitamin maker, it is totally unnecessary to make my vitamin C pills taste like orange. They taste worse that way, foolish mortal! Make them nothing flavoured and they'll be easier to get down.

Dear Mr Society, why isn't it ok to do fundraising to earn money for a private organisation anymore? It's all gotta be Zambian choirs or starving Chinese slaves. Ok, those people may well need money, but when did it no longer become acceptable to raise money for the school hockey team via a bakesale, or, as I suggested to wide disgust in year 11, raise money so that the gifted and talented group can go on a trip to a university. Seriously, where did the spirit of self sustenance, the spirit of enterprise go?!

Dear Mr Time, if you could just freeze time on Friday around 4pm, that'd be excellent, just so I can get all of my homework for half term done. So, like, three hours or so would probably do it really. Alternatively, you could talk to Mr Weather and make it snow, because then I won't have to go into college on Friday.

P.s. Also, can you do something about the fact I never seem to have the time or energy to read anymore? I have so much to read and almost no time to do it in.
Clever Darling
I keep trying to convince myself that D is not what I want because I'm terrified of loving someone at such a young age. But it's absurd. I'm sick of trying to convince myself that D isn't what or who I want, or that there are good reasons for us not to be together.
End of.

In other news, I'm ill again. Only a cold but thanks to my amazing body my sinuses feel like they've exploded and I've had a blinding headache that won't go away despite painkillers for several days.

That's about it for now.
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