Clever Darling
Monday wasn't exactly the most spectacular day of my life, my work pile started exponentially growing again, and at lunch leetle Ceridwen was asleep on one of the sofas because she'd been up all night trying to get a project done (planning fail) and some communist loud over opinionated twat that nobody really likes chucked a bottle at her to try and wake her up, because he's cool like that. He missed, and responded with a loud: 'Fuck, I missed'. I took the bottle and tossed it non aggressively back at him and said don't wake her up, she's asleep, because it's just twattish to pick on Ceri, she's far too tiny to do anything about it, and he wouldnt' dare try and hurt her if Michael was around -.-
Anyway, so he decides that since he hasn't taken his mood balancers today he's going to go off on one, try and turn the table I was sitting at over, chuck my work all over the floor and across the room, and get his girlfriend, who used to be nice until recently, to shout at me too. Complete over reaction and just fucking irritating.
THEN I had an argument with my form tutor because I want to carry on all of my A levels and she thinks I'm thick and can't do it just because SOME OTHER PEOPLE, not me, have tried and not done it before. Bloody woman, it's my choice and I can make my own fucking life decisions. If I don't do as well as I should, well, that's my problem and she can say I told you so. Bitch. And it's not just me, she's upset EVERYONE in my tutor group in some way.

Yesterday was a fairly standard day, more work building up and I just got a statistics assessment back that was a B which is fucking irritating because, in case you haven't noticed, I can't afford to get Bs in ANYTHING. Grawr.

Oh, and I had a really spastic dream last night.
D and I went to this shop that sold loads of amazing clothes really cheap and there was a restaurant at the back and this rich guy wanted us to have dinner with him and his friend even though it was late. So we did, and at the end he gave D £10, 000 for some reason, and then Dad got really angry because he had to take D home at 4am. Then in my dream I was trying to get a couple of hours sleep but every time I fell asleep in the dream I woke up in real life. Then I had a friend who died from emphasiema, an old guy, and when he died he turned into a pig and was served at his own funeral feast type thing and I got really upset and started weeping on Julius Caesar...
the moral?
Don't let your subconscious mix up your private life, your schoolwork, and the book you're reading.
Clever Darling
Friggday deener was tastee, with like, olives and bread and tiger prawns and salmon and pasta and tastyness. Yeah. Twas nice to go out with mah family, we don't do it very often. And then D stayed over and it was niceness and I woke up and he was there and there was loves and cuddles and happies.

Last night was a bit crap because D went home and mother hasn't had her meds because of a cock up at the pharmacy so she was being a bit mad and dad went out to the pub so it was just me to deal with her. Not sure exactly what she said but she spent most of the evening shouting at me, and this morning, only to forget she'd done so by lunchtime today. The joys of her medication being that she's back to normal and stable now.

We were going to go out today but it sort of fell through so D just came over here for lunch and the parents had guests too so there was quite a lot of meal and then a nice cuddly afternoon.

The bad news is that a cuddly afternoon has resulted in my neck feeling like one giant bruise, damn you and your teeth boy :P ...at least they're not visible. Yours is. Mwahahha.

Er...what else, oh, I'm pretty much up to date with my college work now, so that's good, just loads of notes and whatnot to do when I get a chance (ie in the easter holiday) during which I also have to be a bunny, apparently go to Hastings and then Portsmouth AND revise. Should be busy then.
Clever Darling
I had two frees yesterday (one cancelled lesson and one free) so I unexpectedly managed to get an essay done that I was going to have to do over the weekend. So panic is almost over on that front, between now and 9am I need to finish my homework for first period, and I still have some note sorting to do, and a presentation to do for Tuesday, but after that, I think I'm ready to start....

DUN DUN DUN
Easter revision. Blegh.

In other weasels, going out tonight with my family because dad gets his bonus todauy, to a brilliant italian restaurant :D AND D is *hopefully* staying over, so I gets sleep, like, in arms, for the first time in...three weeks? Anyway, epic good thingness.

Shit, National Rail are going on strike after Easter, must go investigate.
Clever Darling
*yawn* I suppose I should blog again at some point.
So yes, I am in fact back from my adventures. Well, I say adventures but essentially it was a huge waste of £600. I learnt nothing, I walked around lots of hills and looked at locks of piles of rocks (apparently they're called 'ruins') and ran out of money two days before the trip finished because Greece is in an economic death throe and I didn't have enough euros with me. Well, I did, but only just enough, and I decided that rather than spend ALL of my money on food, which seemed a waste, I'd buy something I could actually keep, and just sort of floppily starve in the day time.So I got two silver bracelets, one for me and one for D.


D's one looks like the one on the left. Mine's the same style but with the pattern on the right. They're both the same symbol technically.

Anyway, yeah, so my legs are hurty and I have soooo much college work to catch up on and I'm just sort of rambling mindlessly to the weekend so I can SLEEP. Mmmm sleeeeeep.
Clever Darling
No more blog posts until I get back from Greece, if I go to Greece. What could I possibly have to say.
Clever Darling
It's difficult to hate a large amount of people without your hatred diminishing somewhat for seperate cases.
I can do it.

Oh look, a list of people I'd like to kill:
Daniel's mother. Self explanatory.
My English Lit teacher. My class spent twenty minutes bitching about him to our other teacher today. She wrote a list of points. There will still be no improvement, he is a twat. We will all fail half of the course, meaning the highest grade we can get is probably a D.
A large number of my friends. Because it's just too much effort to get to my party. Well fuck you all, always nice to know who the uncaring selfish bitches are.
Leo. Fucking twat. I finally realise that I gain nothing from our friendship and he suddenly decides to make an effort. Well he can fuck off and go burn in hell. I don't need him fucking my life up even more than present.

And on top of this all I'm going to Greece on Thursday and I really don't want to at this point, it just looks like it's going to be shit given the company and the situation in Greece at the moment, and I've got all this work piling up because I'm too stressed out all the time to sit and do it.

Essentially, it'd be nice if the whole world would just stand up, calmly turn towards the nearest exit and FUCK THE FUCK OFF!
Clever Darling
Is it Friday yet?
Dad's taking up all the bloody bandwidth coz he just got warhammer online >:( We are not amused.
So, I'm sitting here on a Wednesday night, determinedly avoiding my English essay, hating my sore throat, feeling less depressed than earlier, but only with the help of two men named Ben and Jerry, and listening to fairly sulky songs still.
At the moment: Shinedown. Shinedown tends to be fairly pathetic mopey love songs but accompanied by guitar in such a way as to man them up. Maybe that's why Stephen likes them, it's like romance for those with testicles that want to hide their soft and gooey centre. Anyway, so, currently:

Verse 1
If you only knew, I'm hanging by a thread, the web I spin for you. 
If you only knew, I'd sacrifice my beating heat before I'd lose you.
 Bridge
I still hold on to the letters you returned, 
I swear I've lived and learned. 
Chorus
It's four oh three and I can't sleep without you next to me, I toss and turn like the sea
If I drown tonight, bring me back to life, 
Breathe your breath in me, 
The only thing that I still believe in is you.
If you only knew.
Verse 2
If you only knew how many times I counted all the words that went wrong. 
If you only knew how I refuse to let you go ever when you're gone. 
Bridge
I don't regret any days I spent, nights we shared, or letters that I sent
Chorus
It's four oh three and I can't sleep without you next to me, I toss and turn like the sea.
If I drown tonight, bring me back to life, 
Breathe your breath in me, 
The only thing that I still believe in is you. 
If you only knew.

If you only knew. 
Bridge
I still hold on to the letters you returned, 
You helped me live and learn
Chorus
It's four oh three and I can't sleep without you next to me, I toss and turn like the sea. 
If I drown tonight, bring me back to life, 
Breathe your breathe in me, the only thing that I still believe...
In is you. 
Believe in is you. 
I still believe yeah. 
If you only knew...

Ok, so it looks kinda repetitive, and the verses are tiny. BUT consider the lyrics mon amore. It doesn't have to be a breakup type song. It's a song of devotion, utterly giving yourself up to another person. A love song in it's own way, and most break up songs are, apart from the really angry ones, so they aren't really sad break uppy type songs at all, they're confessional. Unfortunately if you're listening to them thinking of them as break up songs they're a teensy bit too late. 
:P
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Clever Darling
Sunday wasn't very thrilling, D was dropped off, an hour later than he was supposed to be, which I can only assume was a plot by his mother to piss me off. Anyway, once he finally got here we went out to this quite nice farm shop place in ze countray. Then had car picnic of sorts before coming home and sort of...lurking.

Monday was fairly standard, but no tutorial because of progress reviews, so WIN. Ahem. Then I went and picked D up from school like the pedophile I am, brought him home and did some lurking.

Tuesday, as above, but with D getting the train here instead of me picking him up.

Today, well, the good news is that I got to leave college at 11:30 thanks to afternoon lessons being cancelled for reviews. The bad news is no D because he's going to a concert tonight and probably not tomorrow, and then this weekend is party, so basically no rest until I get back from Greece. And I still have to do this fucking English essay for next week and I don't want to.

I feel at the moment that, basically, everything sucks. College sucks because it's so bureaucratic, and I can't be fucked to do work for teachers who don't bloody well appreciate the effort that goes into it and nothing is ever good enough even when they themselves give it good marks. Home sucks because it's, as ever, in the middle of nowhere, and mum's away so it's fairly boring. The weather still sucks, time still sucks.
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Clever Darling
Yeah, so I didn't go to college on Friday because mum was leaving to go to the states at like 5am and so there was no way for me to get to college in time for lessons 1 and 2 and I only had 4th after that so there was no point. Of course one particular pain in the arse dismissed my lack of transport as 'skiving' when in fact she could have fucking well offered me a lift to college. Anyway, so I went to the airport with my parents, said goodbye to mum, then dad and I went to Oxford for a bit to have a nose because I'd never been there before. Twas nice, sort of, trees everywhere and still lots of open spaces. Plus there were loads and loads of shops, fairly good shops. But we only wandered around the town centre because for some reason dad wasn't all that enthusiastic about the place.
So homeward it twas. Then D and I were meant to be going to a friend's house in the evening but when we got there nobody was answering the door or the phone. So we went up into town and met dad in a pub and had a drink before walking home. Not the most exciting Friday night.

Saturday, ie yesterday, D and I went into town for a bit and met up with some people, but it was cold and it wasn't that fun so we left, briefly stopping at this huge awesome antiques shop with loads of jewellery and books to have a nose (yes, we ARE an old married couple, accept it :P) then home via the woods, where I cleverly fell over and managed to get mud all over my jeans. Then D spent a good portion of the afternoon sleeping on my sofa lol, before being forced to return home and ruin the weekend I had planned by his devil mother.
Clever Darling
Feeling too GRRR to do my homework so I thought I'd post on here instead.
Basically, my day wasn't amazing.
I woke up this morning and knew it was just gonna be one of those days where doing ANYTHING is just too much effort. But anywho, I crawled out of bed, made it to college having sat in front of a heater in the lounge for half an hour because the bloody heating is broken, then had this big long free first so I was all bored and one of my friends is chasing after this guy who's not interested AGAIN and she's just going to hurt herself some more and then another one of my friends forgot her lunch and that apparently justifies being pissy all fucking day, and then I missed lunch and my daily call to D because of an hour and a half long maths mock, and then I had to work with this self absorbed idiotic twat in Classics who spent the whole lesson showing off to the pretty girl next to him AGAIN instead of working, and then D called me up and he'd had a crap day too and I don't get to see him tonight (admittedly my choice, I didn't want to go out when Mum's going away tomorrow, but that doesn't make  not seeing D any less crap) and then I sat down to do some homework and realised I can't remember how to do fuck all for mechanics and I keep getting the fucking questions wrong and I just can't do it, and it drives me mad because there's nobody to bloody well help me because everyone else I go to college with seems to have at least one parent with a degree or a super intelligent sibling and I've got neither so I always have to do all my work on my own and so now I'm in a crap mood and can't be fucked to do either of the essays that are due next week, or finish the stupid fucking maths homework.
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Clever Darling
I'm sensing a distinct lack of D in this week. It displeases me.
I'm also sensing that I'm freezing cold because our heating still isn't working. This is also displeasing to me.
And I'm sleepy.
And I really don't want to go to college today.
I don't want to go to college most days. 
I'd much rather just sleep if we're honest.
In fact, Sunday, I refuse to get out of bed unless there's an earthquake or other natural disaster or something. I shall sleep. Hopefully on a large warm cuddly pillow type thing.
With arms.
It may sound scary to you, but if I can figure out how to mass produce them, I could make a bloody fortune. But alas, cloning just isn't legal.
And now, I'm so cold, I'm going to retreat into my blanket until I have to go to college, which is ridiculous by the way, because I have a free first. Grr.
Clever Darling
I really fail at judging character. So many times I've had an opinion about someone and not at all realised that I was totally wrong. People I've befriended and thought were great exciting people, brilliant friends, and then I've later realised that they're selfish stuck up cows, or lying psychopaths...yeah. The best example ever being the case of R obviously. 

I don't know what I can do about this though. I can't exactly stop making friends or forming opinions of people, I suppose the natural reaction has been the defensive attitude. However, since D is slowly killing it with his love and cuddles, I'm going to have to figure out something...

At present I have a minor inexplicable stomach pain, and somewhat messy blue and pink fingernails hehe.
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Clever Darling
I woke up this morning at 6:12am. The sun was up and birds were tweeting. I still had 23 minutes until my alarm went off. Life is good.

Oh, btw, having a tag archive now, it's amazing, you can pick a random word like 'lesbian'  XD