Clever Darling
Been far too busy to care about you. :P

So, taking  care of the rabbits a lot. They require a lot of time, newspaper, food, and antibiotics.

Apart from that, not a lot. Spending time with D. Went to a party yesterday, it was good until a point. Then tomorrow there's another one, which is out in the middle of nowhere so I don't really want to go because I can't escape if I want to. Then my friends are having one Saturday night. Thrilling. Shame I don't really like parties.

My skin condition is coming back, I think because of handling hay etc for the rabbits so much.

Still waiting for more offers...
Clever Darling
I feel a little bit like the sun's broken through the clouds. I got my first university place yesterday.

It's my fifth choice, but it means that now, I'm definitely going to uni. Which is kind of odd.

But at least it's a start.
Clever Darling
Apparently, I'm not trying hard enough.

I'm not trying hard enough to write classics essays when the exam isn't until June and I've got exams in January.
Perhaps I'm quite simply not trying hard enough to balance all of my work.
I'm obviously not trying hard enough to make you as happy as humanly possible in our relationship regardless of how little you give back and how much you hurt me every day.
I'm not trying hard enough to keep my beloved pets alive from the one disease they shouldn't have been able to catch.
I'm not trying hard enough to get into Oxford just so I can have a secure, happy future.
I'm not trying hard enough to keep mother happy every moment of the day, given that she's a bi-polar hypochrondriac that really shouldn't be a hard one.

You know what? I am so fucking sick of how hard I try in everything I do just to get it all thrown back in my face. Every aspect of my life is rejecting my efforts at the moment and the simple fact is I'm running out of energy. And it's not going to be pleasant when it's all gone and I'm there alone because there's nobody else who genuinely gives a shit because they're all too wrapped up in their own lives to see that I need support right now. Not help. Just support. That's not even so much to ask for.
Clever Darling
I find it somewhat overwhelming when someone is just...nice. Caring without incentive. Like, one of my friends at college at the moment who I'm not even that good friends with knows I'm really down at the moment and asks me every day how I am and how the rabbits are, unprompted. It's that sort of thing that's really surprising to me. I'm not sure why, it's just because people always seem so egocentric and self motivated.

Anyway, got a good quality caramel leather coat today. For £12. Get in. Also got a top and white jumper for a combined price of £7, again fantastic. Charity shops are awesome places.
Clever Darling
LNAT went ok I think.

Then on Sunday I found out Java has myxomatosis. This is very bad. It's not as bad as it could be though, because he has an atypical form, meaning his skin is covered in lumps, but he's got a much better chance of surviving. But I've had to seperate him from Bubs, who is very unhappy. I had to take her to the vets yesterday as well because she had runny eyes so I went into mega panic mode. But it's just a bit of conjuctivitus or something. So every day it's up, antibiotics and antiseptic for Java, eye drops for Bubs, get on with life, do it again in the evening. Nightmare.

In other news...mum's friend from the states, her husband and her three year old son are staying with us at the moment. The child is...lacking. He barely speaks, doesn't listen to a word anyone says, and is generally just a pain in the backside.

And I have a cold.
Clever Darling
Debate went fairly well, bit messy in places but fairly good.

I have my LNAT tomorrow.
I think I'm on the verge of a stress related mental breadown.
Clever Darling
Uni application: Done.
Spent the weekend down with the family, went to Thorpe Park with the sister, rained like fuck all day and got utterly soaking wet. My feet now won't stop itching from the being wet for the ages...

Furthermore: I have a pumpkin named Edgar.

Doing a debate this week.
Parents both sick, aiming not to catch it and die.
Reading A Very Short Introduction to Nietzsche, which I can now spell.